New Relationship Advice: How to Start off Right with Someone New

Starting a new relationship is often like traveling on un-charted territory. You are not sure at all what to expect, yet you feel excited and hopeful that it will work out in the end.

In case you feel anxious about meeting someone new and dating that person, keep in mind the following tips:

• Present yourself as a confident person. Your date is more likely to be impressed with you if you present yourself as a confident person.  Confidence is evident in how you talk, how you dress, and how you act on a date.  Try to be as calm and natural as possible, and if you get nervous take a few deep, quiet breaths and think positive thoughts about you.

•  Use discretion as you get to know your new date. Use discretion in your conversation with your new friend.  If you are at least half way “normal” you will know what is socially acceptable to talk about with your new date.

Try to talk enough to keep him or her interested but be careful about revealing too much about yourself and your past too soon. Also, be willing to listen more than you are willing to talk, especially on the first few dates.

• Show interest in your new sweetheart. Show interest in your new sweetheart by asking him or her about any special interests, hobbies, or vocation. You might also ask your date more about where he or she grew up, or where he or she attended grade school, high school, or college.

Once you have established more of a mutual trust and respect between yourself and your date, you then may begin sharing about each others goals and dreams. Eventually, you will begin sharing more and more of your innermost secrets, and hopefully you will become the best of friends.

• Do not “rush” the relationship. Try to have fun and learn as much as possible about the person you have started a new relationship before “getting too serious”.  For instance, it may be wise to wait at least a couple of months before deciding if you love a person, and to wait even longer before deciding to be married to that person.

Also, try not to make too many plans together too soon either. For instance, some people have only moved in with their partners only after knowing them a few weeks and then moved out not too long afterwards.  

It is recommended that you take a few months to a year going on dates, working on projects, and getting to know each other’s families before making any other decision.  It is also recommended that you wait up to two years minimum before deciding to be married.

• Be honest with yourself and your partner. As you get to know a person and that person gets to know you, it is important to be honest. Do not present your self as someone you are not to please your partner, and also beware of any signs that your partner is not trustworthy or honest. You cannot expect perfection but you also do not want to live a lie.

The most important aspect of getting to know a new person is to take your time. You cannot hurry love, so it is better to take as much time as you need to decide if you want to be with the person you are with (i.e. make a life together, get married, have kids, and so on). Taking too much time is better than not taking enough time at all.

On the other hand, there is something to be said for being “too slow”. If  you have a good thing (a great relationship) and you want to keep it make sure you don’t take it (the relationship) for granted. It may be awhile before you ever get another chance.

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